Is my YouTube channel my channel?

User, you don’t really have control on your stuff on the Internet. Last night I suddenly found that my genius user description had disappeared from my channel page. Shocked! It took me 20 minutes or so to figure out what’s going on. In the end, I found no answer to this mystery. And before, the user description could hide or show, all by its own will. Now it disappeared without giving me any notice in advance. Well, I should have got used to such uncontrollable changes in the virtual space. For instance, one day the stars my videos got suddenly turned into thumbs and left me all dumbfounded. Just imagine seeing dull thumbs instead of stars in the sky! Conclusion: Nothing is ever safe on the Internet, and it’s always safer to save a copy of everything you treasure there.

我肺喜歡藍 Miss the Blues

真好﹗今天天朗氣清，藍天竟這樣美麗，久違了，有點難以置信。這是香港呀﹗
然後，又是藍天，不是之前的淺藍，變了深藍，很飽和的藍，看去太像明信片吧，比之前更不真實。
窗很大，沒有框，白牆身。
卻又只是夢一場。起床，望窗外，灰濛濛，又是。唉﹗
叫阿肺太難受，早晚要出走換換氣。有人竟為避輻射從日本來港，可不知是不是out of Japan into the fire呢﹖

自去年歐遊回家已快五個月，竟一直沒見過真正的藍天。雖然今年天氣似比去年好，晴天多，卻總是帶灰。沒有湛藍，只有灰藍。
在歐洲旅行時多是天朗氣清，就不特別珍借那藍天。回家看照片，才發現其中藍色很多；原來，那天空常是澄清無雲。(那時我只感到太陽頗毒，當然。)
後來，我在Carcassonne發現了日落後的深藍色，把城堡映襯得像夢，為之着迷。但那美麗深藍很短暫，晚一刻便深沉，失去魔力。漸漸，便落入暗黑。

也許這夢不是發自埋怨此地無藍天空，只是有點想念Côte d'Azur吧。



Left: Carmona, Spain; Right: Carcassonne, France

Home and melancoly, at the luggage belt

Chere Soso,

Back home now. Gone is the freezing winter of Europe, and here returns the lovely autumn.

Back too is the ever-inevitable renovation noise.

Again, too busy travelling by bus and plane and watching films at the plane, only when I was waiting for my well-worn and ugly backpack at the luggage belt at the airport (and it's quite a long wait) that the melancoly set in. Why am I here? I thought.

Getting back home is quite easy, at dinner (and TV soap) time in the evening when the streets were quite quiet. No neighbours saw me, thank God.

As before, I couldn't quite recognise my now no-so-familar home when I first entered it, after 2 months away. It always seemed a bit too bright back home from a trip.

Luckily enough, the few pots of plants remained that worried me much when I left were not all dead. Some are sick, some are dead or quite dead, and one remained healthy.

I should be grateful that I have a safe trip, not having lost too much hair (but only a lipbalm, a plug adaptor and some tears).

The good thing is, it's finally the 'boxing day' of all my purchases and souvenirs of my trip (though I haven't really bought many things).

Not least the long-missed home food. Perhaps it could easily drive away the little sadness of being far from Europe. After all, the cold winter has already come.

Waiting for another printemps. Maybe the next one, who knows?

Nice is nice

Chere Soso,

My first day in Nice, my last stop in France, Europe and my 2010 trip.

Last time when I was here, more than ten years ago, I simply past by this place. I just spent some time sleeping in my sleeping bag in front of the train station waiting for my train to Italy. At that time I thought beach towns like this weren't my cup of tea. The palm trees were a bore to me. Now (perhaps as I grow older), I finally know how to appreciate it.

Well, I just arrived here today. I have just walked a little bit around the town centre for about 2 hours. And it seemed pretty and...nice.

Finally, I think I could do some shopping here. Love the chocolates and cheese of France, not to mention foie gras.

Beaches, and more beaches. There's so much sea to see in this trip, to my surprise, for I am the kind that used to avoid the beach when travelling. But the sea I've seen has been lovely, with such lovely blue color. I must say I enjoy my beach town days.

And I have realised at least two wishes so far. One was watching a football match of FCB at Camp Nou in Barcelona. The other one was having un rendez-vous avec Monsieur Yann Tiersen at Marseille, though this time he's more rock than the early YT that I used to know. The concert was good. Sadly no accordion, no A quai, mais heureusement, there's still the familar violin.

And I've seen so much beauty in this trip, des paysages et des hommes!

Bisous! A bientot!

Carcassonne day 2

Chère Soso,

To my surprise, the French here seems to be friendlier than the Spanish. It's the contrary last time when I travelled from France to Spain. Then I thought the Spanish were warmer than the French.

Here people would almost always say bonjour and au revoir when you enter and leave a place. And I could have little chat with people at sandwich store or at the post office. There were people greeting me or even asking me tourist info in the street, en français bien sur. And on the train to France yesterday I had already felt the difference. There was more friendly look than questioning stare (that I got a lot from Spanish women, while the guys were generally friendly. Perhaps there's something about Spanish women, think about the Almodovar films). And I even managed to talk with a madam.

Well Carcassone is pretty. But it's winter, the night falls a bit too early. Please let me walk a little bit more before it gets dark. And the Cité I have walk around it for hours and have not yet get tired of it. The views up here looking over the town around are lovely at endless angles.

Bonsoir, je suis en France

Chère Soso,

Maitenant, je suis à Carcassonne. Je peux encore une fois parler français, mais je l'ai beaucoup oubliè...

Leaving Spain is fast. The French border is just half an hour away from Figueres. Before I was really awake, I was already in France this morning. No time for missing anything...

But (to my surprise) I don't really miss Spain, after 3 weeks there. (I missed Portugal, I missed Morocco.) The cities I visited were interesting, pretty, or even beautiful. But it was hard to talk with the Spanish. I found myself hardly talk to any Spaniards during the whole trip, except the necessary conversations for service or at shops and eateries.

A la prochaine fois!

Au Revoir, Morocco. Hola, Espana

Chere Soso,

J'ai quitté Maroc, aujourd´hui. Ici, à Tarifa, on peut regarder encore le Maroc de l´autre côte.

(It´s faster to type in English, so...) It´s good to relax here for a day before embarking on the trip in Spain. It´s better to take some time to forget Maroc. But the boat is fast. Before I could make myself missing Maroc, I am already in Spain. No more hassles. The Spaniards are generally friendly. But now I miss a little such hassles. One feel a little bit too self-contained here. Back to that "everyone is an island" thing. I miss chatting with people, if not really talking with them.

It´s nice here, clean and lovely, and small. Not really relaxing though. As I have only about half a day here, and exploration is always endless. Now it´s the last minutes for the panoramic view at the castello, then it´s the eternal mysterious desire to see the sunset, this time at the long beach (and much cleaner than that of Asilah or Tanger in Maroc) of Tarifa. My third beach town so far in this trip - Lagos, Asilah, Tarifa (not counting Sagres or Tanger, the beaches at which I haven´t really gone to). Strangely, I had never really longed for beaches or beach towns.

I enjoyed my trip to Maroc. But I am tired of Moroccan bread, couscous and even tajine. Tonight I have finally fulfilled my stupid desire for instant noodles and milk. (They usu. drink or eat yoghurt rather then milk there in Maroc.) I still cannot stand the squat toilets of cheap hotels, which I stayed all the time. Thank God, back in Spain, back to "English toilets". No fear of looking down at the streets.

I wrote the above yesterday. I couldn´t believe that I am still in Tarifa. I am a bit sick these two days. So before starting my little trip in Spain, maybe it´s better to take a rest, study a little Spanish and write a little about my days in Maroc.

It´s good I could speak French most of the time in Maroc. It´s perhaps easier to practise French there than in France. Now suddenly the language have changed to Spanish and I found myself tongue-tied and stupid.

The last day in Tanger was good. I returned to the budget hotel "Pension Detroit" and said goodbye to the friendly guy working there. I went to the English church and say goodbye to the friendly church guardian there. I had a set menu at DH55 at Restaurant Africa nearby my pension and say goodbye to the young waiter there. He still remembered where I sat the first time I went there. Back to the beginning of my trip at Tanger again...

And I had the last look of Africa and Tanger here at Tarifa this afternoon at the beach, where the people kite-surf happily, despite the cloudy weather today.

Bonne nuit. Buenas noches.

2010世界盃，Adios ﹗

不看不看還是看了今屆世界盃。(世界盃還是世界杯呢，我可弄糊塗了。)

最初只想求其看看最後那幾場便算了。年紀大了，人很功利，看足球不會令我升職加薪、名成利就，徒然消耗了時光和激情；而球場上的人生百態和智慧，我以為我早已看透了，剩下來的只有娛樂吧。

可是看新聞，連精華片段都沒得看，實在欺負我們這等have-not太甚，反而激起我那顆沉睡了的睇波心。

(不是愛講什麼世界視野麼，世界盃可以讓小朋友對世界不同國家多了認識，沒有免費波看，很多小朋友會少了世界盃的童年體驗。難為那些特首和高官還厚顏無恥借世界杯來過橋扮親民，一句自由經濟，就可不顧大眾利益，什麼都不用做，仍睡得安樂。)

終於在第一輪最後一場(西班牙對瑞士)開始上網看。一旦開始了看第一場，很容易便上了癮。

看世界盃，幻想足球帶我周遊烈國，總好奇不同國家隊之間的碰撞會擦出什麼火花。

看足球賽，有時像看武林高手比武，有時像看群舞。球員之間的碰撞，球員表情特寫的對比，浪漫的慢鏡頭，充滿趣味和感動。

人生有幾多回世界盃呢，有得看且看了。安坐家中，便可看到世上頂尖的足球員拼搏流汗受傷表演，環球健美靚仔看過飽 (調整一下目染太多的核突佬和陰陽怪氣'型男'引致的不平衡心理)，抵呀﹗

每次世界盃完了，總難以接受下屆我將會那麼老，但不經不覺它又再來了，歲月流逝容易，並沒想像中的不可思異。

初時看得不認真，當然不會冒生命危險半夜追波，7點半場常是上半場看不到半小時去做飯，下半場完結前再睇波送飯約半小時。10點場在洗碗和洗澡後上半場已打了一半。

平日晚上的生活習慣一下子破壞了。每晚回家只想看世界盃。

一直希望西班牙贏今屆世界盃，結果夢想成真了，魔幻現實的阿Paul 升仙，double happiness﹗(想搏懵的鸚鵡和黃大仙等神棍彈開﹗)大敵巴西和阿根庭分別被荷蘭和德國擊退了，好像是為西班牙開路贏世界盃的奇妙命運安排。 已經等了很多年，不想又是那幾隊輪流捧盃，終於有新的世界盃冠軍，高興在有生之年見證了開心的歷史。

第一場雖然輸了，我覺得不一定是壞事。印象中以前世界盃或歐冠盃摘冠的，多不是一開始就打得很好的球隊。上屆的結果就很苦悶，從小就討厭的意大利，吔吔烏竟又捧多次杯。

其實我不懂西班牙，要到四強對德國，我才開始明白他們的風格。(鬼咩，他們多數賽事都是半夜場。) 他們的短傳組織滲入很奇妙，一次又一次撕破了看似牢不可破的防線。看不透他們頃刻間怎決定把球回傳後方，還是向前進攻。或者，球猜來猜去，省力地慢慢引那度防守牆變形，回到核心的進攻發動機Xavi，一旦看到牆的缺口，便發動各種方向的攻勢。

因為輸了第一場，以後的每一場都要替他們擔心。迷信地自我安慰，第一場是早場，西班牙人可是夜鬼，半夜場應會越夜越精神大步檻過。小組賽第2、3場都是半夜場，沒看。我告訴自己如果他們連乜隊乜隊也嬴不到，就沒資格捧杯，便安心去睡，幸好每天晨早彈起來看新聞都傳來好消息。

16強和8強終於不得不半夜起來冒死看比賽，但兩場都是45分鐘眼光光無記錄心慌慌，只看了上半場，我便無眼睇下半場去睡了，只想一覺醒來，新聞傳來好消息，一天光晒﹗要第二天看重播才真的有心情輕鬆欣賞。(不是水杯半滿半空，而是，0比0是未入球還是未失球﹖我很負面，沒為未失球而高興，卻為未入球而懮心。)

4強對強勢晉級的德國，又一次無記錄完了上半場，這次我卻較安心，想只要不那麼早被德國進了球，被狂數4球的慘況應不會出現。看西班牙以柔制剛，不像之前英格蘭和阿根庭跟德國硬碰，似有勝望。矛盾的是，我從小就莫名的喜歡德國隊 (德國對英格蘭永遠是我最愛看的賽事)，縱使他們常被疚病走線、踼法機動化。我以為可以抱着輕鬆的心情欣賞比賽，反正誰勝也很OK。但實情是，當Puyol 終於進了球，我竟高興到拍起手掌大叫阿Paul 好嘢，難以置信我的反應會如正常球迷一樣強烈。嚇然發覺原來我是那麼渴望西班牙贏的，之前只是一直在欺騙自己。或者因為德國多年來世杯成績好，球員們還年青，今屆輸了也罷。(多得此一役，我要好好反思以為誠實的我是怎樣自我欺騙活過來的。)

決賽人們都問誰會奪冠，但我以為重要的是誰應該贏，最後贏的可能是荷蘭，但應該贏的當然是西班牙。

實在不明白那些非荷蘭人支持荷蘭的理由，尤其是看完比賽仍覺得他們應捧杯的那些。有些球迷可能年紀較大，經歷過70年代全盛時期的荷蘭足球，自然有情意結 (少时我對傳說中的十上十落全能足球也是充滿了幻想)。更多的盲迷可能有二拉情意結，或是看宮廷電視劇太多壞了腦，或是自己生活上也是受屈多時未出頭的二拉，把自己的心情投射在球塲上的長期二拉上，卻給這個不知老幾的後生得了米，真是怨恨到了極點。有些人忠心得極自戀，那不論好醜的忠心，海枯石瀾得很悲壯，感動死自己了。看電視心理小測驗，講人們有美化自己選擇的傾向，把A貨當成正牌看時，竟在A貨身上也看見原先正牌的優點。選了做荷蘭迷，他們打得幾醜也是好，最不能承受的，是承認自己落錯注。幸好世人有盲目的自我保護能力，要不然一天到睌老婆老公是人家的好，停不了見好思遷，世界大亂啦。

荷蘭對斯洛伐克那場悶死人，以致我大部份時間在彈ukulele，並學懂了彈Over the Rainbow，印像中大部份時間是一大棚人在場中移來移去，或者是守來守去。從那時起，我就不喜歡荷蘭了。然後，他們竟莫名其妙贏了巴西，更認定他們是邪牌。還好，烏拉圭2比零擊敗了荷蘭。但原來是做夢，夢只做對了一半，那邊廂荷蘭卻進了3球。

我其實不適宜看世界盃決賽那樣的重要賽事，比什麼懸疑片都教人不安，EQ零蛋的我總是緊張得要死，擔心會突發心臟病，卻又要看。今次決賽的90分鐘就完全在驚慌中捱過。雖說新世界杯冠軍的願望已達成，但要是那是荷蘭，我是絶不會看冠軍頒獎禮的，那喜悅將與我無關。時間越近90分鐘，只能祈求阿Paul 發功，並埋怨現實不是90分鐘西班牙做低了悶蛋荷蘭，讓我可早點分享西班牙捧杯的喜悅，早點安心去睡。無眼睇病又發作，加時沒看去假寐，要喃嚒唱唱Let It Be來減壓。等近完場才開機看勝利一刻和頒獎禮，30分鐘轉眼過，最害怕一開機看到的是恐怖12碼進行中。還是先不小心瞄到RFI首頁，1-0 ou 0-1???!!!!，看清楚進了球的是西班牙，bravo﹗

2006年我是怎看世界盃呢﹖舊日記只有兩度提及有看，其中上網看了PPS的CCTV5播英格蘭對葡萄牙那場 – What? 那時已上網看?! CCTV5 嗎? 沒印像，只記得那時覺得C. Ronaldo幾靚仔(在被世人確認前啦)。可見我的日子總是渾沌過去的。而那時副活動竟是學用木顏色繪畫﹗(今次我在觀球中途，一度為了用結他仔彈New Order的Ceremony，不知怎的竟上了Jango找歌詞並唱起歌來。)

世界盃早段，人們總是失憶說悶。當然啦，多了充數的球隊，戲肉總是在小組第三輪到8 強的賽事。4強以後，好些強隊已在硬碰中不幸被淘汰了，且之前天天有比賽，現在有小休，熱鬧不再，而留下來的可能更有一半是不怎喜歡的球隊，意興反跌。

世盃完後，沒有post-World Cup blues, 只有些像是長旅行後的anti-culture shock，回到不新鮮的世界，虛浮的心未着陸，需要些時間再融入社會。還有可笑又可愛post-World Cup lovesick。大概在Casillas 用神腿擋出單刀波後的一刻，我突然愛上Iker。靚仔缺乏症發作，恨market 上的supply和demand 大大失衡，難怪那些韓台靚仔狂迷那麼誇張膜拜。過了幾天才康復，白痴﹗

花了一星期重温西班牙那冠軍之路的7場賽事，之前有些沒看到，有些看了等於沒看在魂遊。第一場之前因上網技術問題看得不完整，也不知放大螢幕看，那時納悶鏡頭調度不好，又無奈對着那度瑞士牆無板斧破；再看攝影好看些，西班牙也打得比印像中好。小組第三場對智利近完場竟不停猜波等收工，有點討厭，但時間不多不容有失，那是明智之舉，幸好洪都拉斯和瑞士兩隊守強攻弱如所料的0比0，西班牙和智利挽手晉級。要不是輸了首場末段就不用那麼謹慎保守，只好原諒他們。

討厭那些特別重防守的球隊，把球賽變悶。Thank God﹗ 瑞士出局。Gracias España﹗巴拉圭還是被西班牙艱苦打低。若再要看一場巴拉圭對德國，想嘔。一隊意大利已想死，不是吧﹖還生了一隊南美的意大利，真是死死不息。

西班牙有驚有險的一球一球晉級，好像是有運，Danke Paul﹗但如果真的有運，每場其實可進多起碼1、2球，欠運才真。幸好實力補救，驚濤駭浪船沒沉，推動他們緩緩前進達冠軍寶座。

看多了覺得他們是mis amigos了，不捨得，Casillas, Reina, Piqué, Ramos, Busquets, Alonso, Xavi, Villa, Navas, Iniesta, Cesc Fabregas。以後我應該懶得追看分散在西甲和英超的你們，mis amigos。聯賽像連續劇，我等懶人那有心力放長雙眼看﹖Iker 的靚仔與激情，Reina 的風趣，Piqué的獨家褲頭帶、優美的跑姿和容易流血的瓷器皮膚，Ramos 的頭帶和常向前衝想變前鋒的屢試屢敗，Alonso多次被摳的打不死，Xavi 睜大雙眼永遠嚴肅的近鏡表情vs奪標後立即放鬆年輕了十年的笑臉(及吃了定心丸的傳球，當然﹗)，Villa 醒目而悠閒的四兩撥千斤恣態和有氣派的勝利手勢，Navas 的迷人藍眼睛 (Jesus!)，Iniesta的謙厚和司拉樣，Fabregas 的Hello Kitty拖鞋及踏兩船的愛和愛。Adios, mis amigos﹗

不識Torres，竟是曾經愛過的Liverpool FC要員﹖可見沒留意足球已多時。因為Liverpool 已經變到我分不出它是Liverpool，Arsenal還是Chelsea，早已無心追隨。

而這班celebrities，像活在另一宇宙，很多細細個已在江湖打滾，像Cesc，才23歲已在英超打了7 年，凡人才開始職業生涯，他已打了半輩子工似的。而這些超人一個月的富豪新金我可能要用一世來賺，也要多得凡人們把他們變成不可能摘的星。

實情是，我這個月來很沉迷西班牙(想飛去西班牙，食tapas﹗)，差點以為自己是española了。常去久遺了的El Pais網站看球隊新聞，照片多又精彩，看到精彩處，以為自己在Prado看名畫。又連言語不通的RTVE電視汁都撈埋。西班牙好多字似法文，再用上惹笑但高效的Google 即時翻譯，明少少。名正言順黐痢根學舌，好玩，雖然常常和法文發音撈亂骨頭。

Adios, la copa del mundo，hola 學西班牙文生字。

First mini-picnic in Autumn 草地再踏

上星期心思思想去Clockenflap Festival，想看熱閙的Los Campesinos! 未去過數碼港，想去考察；青草地，更想去踏踏。For some stupid (or clever) reasons, 沒去。其實，嫌貴也。後來看片段，唓﹗那地方石屎成分太高，多-餘-蠢的設計﹗周圍還有些悶樓，又有太多小孩子(Sorry! 大人音樂節不應讓太細的細路入塲，it’s not cool!) 喑幸沒去，省了一筆。原來醉翁之意真的不在農夫。
為了補賞那小小的失落，昨日早上去了清水灣郊野公園，終於踏了今秋的第一次青，過了小小小的Picnic癮，狂吸了多口清新空氣，滿足啊﹗呵呵﹗
清水灣郊野公園以前去過一次，印像中很大家樂，很兒童樂園，不是入流的郊遊地。只是，要交通方便(快過去油尖旺!)，要安心獨行，要有草地野餐，很容易就想到它了。

這次去，雖然仍是很大家樂園，但那大遍草地草坡，開闊能見海賞綠，還有人放風箏給我看，嘈雜之外仍可以找到一方靜土來個晴天小Picnic，天氣又清爽，沒失望。(但下午或人多，可能就不一樣了。)
公園內有一條樹木研習徑，愛樹人如我自然要走一圈，路很靜，20分鐘的路上只見一個遊人，幸好不陰森，途中更有寫意海景，和幾種花心的蝴蝶。可研習的樹木種類不多，更不特別，但我行完便立即忘了它們的名字。
人們都放風箏和BBQ去了。不明白人們為何那麼喜歡BBQ，起火多磨人﹗難得到了郊野，清新空氣不吸，卻費勁製造人工濁氣自吸，吃危害健康的食物，好吃嗎﹖只是為了happy together 吧，在家裏卻可能懶得做美食吃。

走了一段附近的龍蝦灣郊遊徑，一整段是上山的石梯級，雖不叫天梯，卻喘得人要生要死了。但山明水秀，草木有緻，合符我一貫的行山願望，高傲的釣魚翁山在對面，只敗在眼下的高爾夫球場，和幾隻沒品狗主放的大狗。60層樓高的山頂似乎不遠了，可惜下午有事，要早些回頭，不達，但也很滿足了。
最後，在路人少車不少的清水灣道還看見兩雙漂亮的鳥兒，其中一雙好像是喜鵲magpie。從車站到公園入口的一段清水灣道，雖然草木變化沒驚喜，其實可以悠然。可惜給駛得快了一點的車車輛輛掃了興，真想禁止一般車輛在那裏行駛。

Hot tea, chocolate, raisins, biscuit and cheese, ooh, yummy!

秋季花事

我家的迷你花園夏季末死氣沉沉。連易養的日日春也輕易給我養死了，更不用說負責提供黃色的波斯菊和不喜歡夏天的薰衣草。我的理想花間色彩(藍+白+黃+綠)早就患滅了。
原來夏季養花養草也難，一不小心便成了植物虐待狂。

本來只喜歡香草，(love love rosemary!) 可吃也。但太多綠，有點單調，才想有點花兒，才開始學習與花相處。
剛買了新花為花園上新色。
本來想買藍/紫色的薰衣草、黃色的某種菊花和不知什麼的白花。
但薰衣草未當造，沒買成。以前不怎喜歡它，比較便宜又常見的不是好品種，不香，但看着似是柔弱的花枝在風中搖曳，真有趣，是為了看風的舞吧。
黃菊花，有，但沒看中。
卻買了紅花的美女櫻，雖然一般不大喜歡紅花。(它好像是春夏花)
又買了可愛的黃色紅斑的荷包花，還有小花藍色紫羅蘭 (本來不喜厚葉花卉)。
後來，又在近家的街市買了十元一盆的紫花的美女櫻。
迷你花園一下子色彩繽紛起來。I’m enthralled!
在給我虐待至死前，要看過飽。
為了看花，每天會早些起床。上班前的早餐時光更愉快了。

荷包花像麵包像金魚兒也像花﹖Mademoiselles Garden Verbena et Snippetwort

Oh! My first baby! 無啦啦，做布娃

I happened to borrow a book called “當偶們同在一起” about how to make hand-made soft toys from the library.
The dolls look cool and cute, and they dressed in style.
One day I got the sudden whim to try my hand at making one such cutie doll. It seemed quite easy.
I was impatient though. I just cut out the fabrics more or less similar to the pattern in the book without seriously making the pattern on paper.
I wondered if the doll would end up like a Frankenstein’s monster.
Besides stinging the finger now and then, I guess sewing is at least as good as meditation. It is relaxing, productive and creative. It made me think about the nature of creation. Women have been sewing it for centuries. And now I am doing it. Good.
Even with a little help from my mini-sewing machine, it took me much longer than expected. Starting from late afternoon, I only finished it after 2am after midnight.
No hope to make a living by selling hand-made dolls. With my slow production, it has to be sold at a few hundred dollars. But you could easily get a cute Made in China soft toy for just HKD10. Besides, my needlework is poor!
Because of my impatience, it is quite a failure. It’s hardly as cool as the book’s example.
I wanted to make a teddy bear but the poor needlework at the ears made it look more like a cat. The material used was not quite right too. The head ended up too heavy for the neck to bear, so its head is naturally drooping. It is such a pessimist!

The good thing is, it could do amazing contortion. And with long and thin legs it easily makes charming posture and is good for a super-mini model. But it wants a sibling to play with…

我的無聊與快樂

到底這些網上搜尋器是怎運作的﹖

前幾天，天真的我以為聰明，施個慳皮法，在99巴仙的英文網誌上打幾隻中文字，人們搜尋中文網誌也可以找到我的字仔。可我的詭計徹底失敗了。

我為什麼手痕加了幾隻中文字呢﹖因為該網誌講American Idol 7 的Jason Castro (冒着被友人恥笑的危險而寫的幼稚情書) 。我發覺似乎不少中文薄客不大喜歡他，便想用網誌踩進中文的虎穴投他微薄的一票。真自大，像我這個揾鬼睇唔知搏咩隱蔽blog，名字叫存在與虛無，找隻烏蠅來攪攪震都難，又怎會因為幾粒字在中文搜尋結果中現形﹖

也罷，網誌裏有名人的名字還真管用，Jason Castro一出，國際社會訪客量暴升起碼一千巴仙，只因之前是近乎天零零地零零。終於有幾個傻瓜探頭進來，似乎都上錯船，他們要尋的人都只是在網誌裏客串的閒角，卻沒有人因尋主角而來。原來，從前以為神通廣大的搜尋器是神經的老點器，唓﹗

偶然無聊墮落去八掛香港的外語音樂討論區，調查本地人對JC等AI人的看法，似乎厭惡和不怎喜歡他的人佔多數，Brooke White 和2D則較受歡迎。What a shame! 這麼可愛的一個人也不懂欣賞。但來來去去都只是那幾條粉腸在幫會裏發牙痕，會員包括有望繼承維園阿伯的寶座惡棍，和以為跟了紅就能憑偶像貴而發紫的羊羣粉絲，他們噴的口水和吠的噪音重要嗎？惡棍尤其不懂得愛，他們所謂的愛使他們的世界變得更細小。這些討論區很無聊，領此一嘢，但願終生免疫。

不過不喜歡JC的人也不無道理，他壓根兒是個Anti-American Idol。回想起來，他的Top 4表演實在好玩。另外那三個一本正經的喊破喉嚨乞票，他卻偏偏選了唱懶洋洋的 “I Shot the Sheriff”扮Bob Marley，同塲加映 “Mr. Tambourine Man” 那不可能的忘詞 — 特別耳熟能詳的一句。輕易令評判抓破頭皮，教監製滴汗，玩謝了老套的AI，Jason好嘢﹗抽離一下那比賽的懶緊張氣氛去看，實在很comical。如果他是故意的，我可更欣賞他了。如果不，我懷疑那也可能是潛意識作怪的吧。多年後，人們會記得他的Top 4表演，但沒有人會記得另外那三個。

比賽後期他的表演比較平淡，但不是厭他的人所說的悶，怎會呢﹖悶字很難和有趣的他扯上關係，就是他的一些表演比較差勁，也遠比其他表現好的悶蛋參賽者有趣好看。

Look, cutie!

Jason Castro-I Just Want To Be Your Everything

他的粉絲還不止尖叫少女，也有很多中年司拉阿叔，更有不少基哥。女孩想做他女友，媽媽想有個像他一樣可愛的兒子，基哥想帶他回家過夜。

不過作為一個腌尖的樂迷，連Radiodead 和Oldplay(Moz的笑語)之流我都懶理，如果我不知道他，有一天在唱片店裏聽了他的CD，我可能不會感到太大興趣。

夠了，我的狂迷日記。

If only I could forget Burma

No surprise, Aung Sang Suu Kyi's house arrest has been extended once again.

I have just signed the Voices for Burma petition at the US Campain for Burma Website after learning about it in the newspaper today. http://uscampaignforburma.org/

I have also uploaded a picture on the Don't Forget Burma site:

In the picture I've put a shoulder bag and a flip-flop that I bought from my 2001 Burma trip. These are souvenirs of what Burmese people had on them everyday. And the three baby dolls are decorations I have on my desk to represent my three little baby nieces. I wanted to make the babies holding up the words of "don't", "forget" and "Burma" like demonstrators. I even wanted to put little longyis, the fabrics that most Burmese men wear, on the dolls. But I was too lazy.

I am not even activism people.

Let me be a fool for a while - desparately seeking Jason

就是喜歡Jason Castro.

Thank God American Idol season 7 is over!

It's the first time I've ever watched AI, since it has been showing on the ATV World channel (despite its 3 weeks’ time gap).

Since early on my favorites were Brooke White and Jason Castro. They were like the opposite sex versions of each other - unique voice, heartfelt singing, and good-looking. Carly Smithson and Micheal Johns were all right. Again, like Brooke and Jason, they were a pair – charismatic, great vocal skills, rock. But they sounded rather old-fashioned and overly mainstream. I don't care much if they were out later in the contest. As for the rest, they were mostly boring! Most were just about showing off their vocal range and big voice. I couldn’t care less.

I also quite liked the failed contestant Josiah Leming, who may be the most talented contestant in the whole show.

Before, I just kinda liked Jason, but no big deal. Guess what? I often watched AI while using the computer. I just couldn't be too devoted to watching it. But since Jason got voted off, I had watched many of his interviews, they always brought me smiles and I just loved him more. And only in recent weeks did I come to realize how gorgeous he had been.

He was particularly beautiful when he sang solo (was it because of the lighting and the make-up?). With such great looks and passionate singing, some of his performances were verging on revelations (Hallelujah, Over the Rainbow). It's timeless. I bet watching his performance videos in 50 years, people will still be amazed by his beauty. I was charmed by his beautiful clear blue eyes and his perfect profile. I like his cute (is it an appropriate word?) hair styles in dreadlocks and the way he dressed. Yet on the other hand in interviews he was funny, sweet, and genuine. I was inspired by his laid-back personality. Perhaps it's this combination of his radiant stage presence and his pleasant personality that amazed me so much.

Jason Castro-Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Why do people have to emphasize that they love him for his singing rather than his looks just to avoid being mistaken as teenyboppers? It’s the whole package, stupid! If he looks like the other contestant David Hernandez (?), I doubt I would like him as much. But could someone looks like DH ever sing like Jason?

These few days I am particularly crazy. I spent lots of time searching for him on the Internet. I even downloaded his photos (and I have not even downloaded one photo of my idol Jude Law ever!). I replaced the lovely wallpaper of myself with my lovely friend with his picture on my laptop. How corny! Well, so many stupid guys were naïve enough to put wallpapers of seemingly naïve girl pop stars on their computer. Now it's my turn!

It's almost like I am in love. How horrible! I don't even bother about the Sichuan earthquake news these days. That is to say, I am more overwhelmed by Jason's beauty then the tragic national disaster.

(In fact, I haven't donated ten cents so far, and I probably won’t. Call me heartless. But I am poor money-wise. Let the rich people who have ripped us off pay their dues and feel good about themselves. Indeed I am pretty numb. After tragic events HK people had been through all these years, people just won't learn. Soon they will forget about the lessons in life they thought they've learnt. When the nightmare is over, real life creeps in and people just continue to live blindly. They will commemorate the 1st, the 5th and the 10the anniversary of the disaster, but it would only be reduced to some media events that have nothing to do with people’s life. There may be big changes in the life of victims and even the aid workers, but hardly any for the spectators. Just wait for the next tragedy to happen.)

But I am somewhat doubtful about Jason's musical taste. The music of his musical heroes sounded rather trite to me. I am doubtful if this banal AI machine, a far cry from my lovely musical taste, could churn out anything good. Kelly Clarkson is a very good singer, yet her music was just OK for me, and I won’t even bother to buy a cheap pirate CD of hers. And the rest are just simply forgettable. Could Jason make a really good album? Judging from his performances, yes. Judging from his musical heroes, not sure. But then there are good music coming out of not-so-great influence, and loads of mediocre music out of great music influence. I'll just keep my fingers crossed.

Because of Jason's rendition, I had searched and heard versions of Hallelujah. People would argue which version they liked better. Weird, people could not love a lot. Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright, and…Jason, I like them all.

Watching AI had probably ruined my health by greatly reducing the quality of my sleep in recent months. Overexcited, I usually could not sleep well the night after the late-at-night show.

I began watching AI due to my impossible curiosty. Soon I fell into the trap. Though I was glad to find the gem of Jason there. I vow that I would not watch AI again, just like I won't fall into the trap of watching this year's Olympic Games. What a waste of time! (It's like, every time when I happened to read an entertainment magazine, in the end I would throw it on the floor and grumble out "what a waste of time!")

Already I am afraid my love is short-lived. Will I still love you next summer?

Well, I am already content to have enjoyed the beautiful experience he brought me this season. Thanks thanks thanks thanks JC!

I can be laid-back too.

Trip to Greece finale video - Meteora

My trip to Meteora, an amazing rock forest with medieval monasteries atop its extraordinary rock pinnacles. It's the last stop of my 2003 journey to Greece, before I went on to Italy.

The opening music I used for my Trip to Greece clips is Yann Tiersen’s "deja loin". I wanted to use it in the last episode of the series. I thought there might be a "Leaving" episode to end the series, yet I had not made enough footage for that. So Meteora was to be the last episode, and it happened that the piece of music suited the clip quite well.

Based in the nearby town of Kalambaka, I listened to the good advice from fellow Taiwanese travellers and took the bus to get to Meteora. It took less than 15 minutes for the bus to get up on the massive rocks but perhaps more than an hour to climb up there. And judging from the way I walked down the path back to Kalambaka, it wouldn't be a very easy climb.

Visiting on a Tuesday, the best-known monastery Moni Megalou Meteorou (Grand Meteora) was closed. I could only sigh and took a long good look at the outside.

Fortunately the monastery Moni Varlaam I visited was interesting enough to soothe my frustration.

I took the path near Moni Agias Triados to get back down to the worldly Kalambaka. It's a very enjoyable and charming path to walk. The tranquil mountain landscape reminded me of the traditional Chinese landscape painting. I imagined I was the solitary poet in such otherworldly scenery, only that my state of mind was not blissfully serene. For more than half an hour, I was walking all alone with no soul in sight (and thank God no thief neither) throughout the meandering and narrow path, and some parts of which were shaded and hidden by trees. God only knows when and if I could get back to the open space in the village. Slightly worried, my pace was a little hurried. But I comforted myself that it's a holy place and some higher grace up there would look after me, even though I was not a religious person. As usual, in times of ominous danger, one becomes more religious than ever.

Meteora was not as miraculous as I imagined though. Before getting there, I naively envisaged that it's exactly like a forest with individual rock pillars sprung up from the plain like some colossal trees. And the small me would be standing below in awe of these handsome old trees, oozing some mystical-prehistorical air. But the reality was that most of the rocks were virtually linked by roads. Either you were down there seeing a mountain-range-like landscape, or up on the hills walking with ease on big roads. Up there, the panoramic views overlooking the towns are captivating. Despite its interesting rocks and characteristic monasteries, Meteora was more cheerfully scenic than mystically awe-inspiring.

At some point I moaned that I didn't know how to work on this clip. Now and then it's the similar images of these unique rock pillars. They seemed repetitive, yet were somewhat different. It's really hard to decide what footage to edit out. But somehow I managed to finish it and turned the crappy mess of images into something I liked. And soon I became addicted to my new clip, like last time when I did the Delphi clips. Quite absurd indeed.

Watch my video:

Trip to Greece videos - Delphi Part 1 & Part 2

My trip to Delphi during my 2003 journey to Greece.

I found it hard to separate the Delphi clip into 2 parts. Depicting Delphi with only either of modern Delphi or ancient Delphi could hardly be Delphi at all. The two seemed inseparable. Separated, "modern Delphi" would lose the essence of Delphi, while "ancient Delphi" on its own might be too monotonous. Together, the clip would be too long. So now in the modern Delphi clip, I've added some images of ancient Delphi.

Trip to Greece - Delphi Part 1 - Modern Delphi

If you could read my videos, then you'll know I was happiest when I was at Delphi during the whole journey in Greece.

At first, I didn't expect much of the place, as I had got quite tired of visiting ancient sites. But Delphi was different. Soon as I got there, I was captivated by the majestic mountain scenery all along the main road.

And the small hotel room offered charming mountain views from the balcony. It's spiritually refreshing and inspiring. How could I not be happy?

Next to ancient Delphi, modern Delphi was a small village that you could walk through in little time. Quiet, relaxing and superbly located, it could be an excellent place for relaxing and reflections.

The small-apple tree outside a village house was my favorite bit. It fascinated me just to watch the little apples falling down as the breeze caressed the tree. Perhaps, feeling dumb throughout the trip, I secretly wished to gain some small wisdom from the small fallen apples, if not to be seduced by some small guilty pleasure. Little apples of wisdom, little apples of desire, you didn't make me a little wiser. Yet, you seemed to me symbolic of the secret spirituality of Delphi, of which the essence and soul was the sites of Ancient Delphi. I was so delighted that I almost felt like enlightened.

I had made a lot of footage of the mountains. It's really hard to edit the clip. Now and then there were these similar images of the mountain scenery. Mountains, mountains and more mountains, it just dazzled me. Of course, the mountains in the video retained little of its charm.

To bring out the spiritual wonder of the place, I have used ethereal music by Love Spiral Downwards and Shelleyan Orphan.

Watch my video:

Trip to Greece - Delphi Part 2 - Ancient Delphi

Ancient Delphi here shows the World Heritage listed ancient sites, mostly the Sanctuary of Apollo, along with some images of the Sanctuary of Athena.

To respect the sanctity of the ancient sites, I did not put music to the clip, except in footages outside of the site. I thought it's best to taste the place quietly. Perhaps there's already a musical quality in the architecture and the relics itself, so it would not be too boring to watch it quietly, if you are not boring, that is.

Frustration:
Have just uploaded the new video of part 2 of my trip to Delphi - Ancient Delphi on YouTube. The video quality is much poorer than the original clip, like some other videos of mine - missing details, awful colors...Sighhhhhhhh!!

I've tried to uploaded the video on MySpace, and the video seems better there:
Trip to Greece - Delphi Pt 2/2 Ancient Delphi

Add to My Profile More Videos

I liked Brad Renfro too

Got the video from his fans' MySpace site:


The music is crap (turn off the sound!), but I like the photos.
Let it be? No, it's so wrong.
Many beautiful and talented people love to hurt themselves. They are so fragile and they tend to die easily (as my unscientific but rather accurate research on the relationship between longetivity and attractiveness shows).
What's wrong?
Every time when a young hopeful like him disappears, people say more or less the same thing - love him so much, will always remember him, he's so wonderful.
It seems that all this love is quite powerless. (Fans, don't overrate your love!)
And the mystery remains, and then again another beautiful boy would disappear, and another, and another...

There's no consolation.

Reality is crap. History is crap.
(Well, sometimes...)

Notes to the 2-stars video killer and other sensible viewers

What the hell!

A certain mean people has just rated my formerly unrated "Iraklio" video 2 stars (quite a failure, right?) only! Yes, my video was not Pro. But I thought it would worth 3 stars. (Yes, I am quite a humble person!)

Why? Envy, envy, envy! Perhaps because it's lucky enough to be listed near the bottom of the first page when you searched "Iraklio".

I fear that no one would watch it anymore, all because of a certain viewer of either extremely refined taste or extraordinarily awful taste. Then again, he may either be a great lover or great hater of the city of Iraklio. And what if he is simply an utter nutter and a professional 1-star or 2-stars video killer of unrated videos? Woe is me!

Most YouTubers rate videos generously. As a debutante amateur video maker, I thought getting 3 or 4 stars was good enough, and I was overjoyed when viewers generously gave some of my videos 5 stars. 2 stars? It's not fair, especially when many travel videos on YouTube which were more mediocre than mine easily got a few 5 stars. Compared to some professionals and talented video makers, I felt like a primary school student. But at least I did my homework well and with sincere efforts. And it's not those sloppy video clips shot with a mobile phone (and usually less than 1 minute long) without editing.

2-stars video killer, perhaps you are looking for travel videos like these:
a) Long-windedly narrated by someone, pretty or ugly, pleasantly dressed or distastefully dressed, showing themselves or not. They would show you a red apple and tell you that it's a red apple, or something like that.
b) Sights and places indicated with subtitles, and labouriously introduced by these subtitles or in the video description (perhaps mostly copied from guidebooks or the Netpedia).
c) Made up of a series of pretty enough photos, but usually linked up by a variety of tasteless and naïve transitions.
d) Accompanied by some corny music that often does not match the video throughout. And all the city sounds and noises are muted.
Sorry, my videos are not your cup of tea. I am not working for the tourist office or travel agency. And I am no teacher of geography or history. I just want to share some of my impressions and convey some aspects about the place, which I happened to capture during my travels.

2-stars video killer, you have succeeded with your scheme, soon my video has dropped out of the first page of the "Iraklio" search.

In fact, this "Iraklio" video is my favourite among my earlier videos. The elements are rich and varied, so are the sounds of the city. And some scenes were even tastefully edited. In a word, it's quite interesting to watch, if not informative or practical enough for the middle-of-the-road music lovers.

Earlier, it was rarely viewed. Then recently the viewing grows faster than other videos of mine, despite their common low view counts, perhaps because it's listed on the first page of the search. Now it's murdered, (as the Chinese saying goes -- snatch rice to eat from the begging bowl!) and I am trying hard to revive it.

So if you happen to watch it, and if you have some sense and perhaps a great deal of generosity, please give it at least 3 stars.

RIP, my lovely "Iraklio" video!

P.S. - Ha Ha! My video has been revived! Forget about the hopeless killer!

Trip to Greece video - Naxos Part 2 Tragaea

Part 2 of my trip to the delightful Greek Island of Naxos in my 2003 journey to Greece. It's a pleasant excursion in the Tragaea region, with its unspoilt villages, lovely roads, olive gloves and various fruit trees.

It's an enjoyable day… and a fruitful one.

At first I got lost. I got to a small square nearby some olive groves. No one was around. It's all so quiet. Nonetheless, the sun blistering, it was good to sit in the tree shades and relax. There I had some blissful moments admiring beautiful trees swinging and singing in gentle breeze.

I wanted to walk to the small village of Damarionas. After walking alone on the quiet road for a while, a young man riding on a scooter passed by and offered me a lift. I boldly left my fate to the Greek gods and fortunately he did carry me safely to Damarionas. The popular ghost of the serial killer hovering in my head was immediately replaced by a heavenly miracle.

Walking on the road to Halki from Damarionas was a great joy. It was not wide (of perfect human scale), with olive groves and orchards on both sides. What's more, there weren't fierce dogs. Neither were there other people. It's quiet and serene, not creepy.

My secondary task of the excursion was to pick samples of all kinds of fruits on the road. My partial success included two fig fruits, a small green orange, a small pear and an olive, but I failed miserably to get a bunch of grapes and a pomegranate. Here and there I tried hard but failed to pick grapes, which were bountiful but always just about one inch away from my reach.

Halki was somewhat disappointing then. Its run-down Venetian houses seemed dull rather than charming. It's hardly photogenic, and perhaps that's why I had hardly made any video there.

I walked back to Filoti from Halki, the starting point of the excursion. There I had waited for quite a long time for the bus. You really have to learn to wait in Greece.

The video is accompanied with beautiful songs by Tim Buckley and Guy Chadwick.

Watch my video:

Trip to Greece video - Naxos Part 1 Hora

From Santorini, I went on to the delightful Greek Island of Naxos in my 2003 journey to Greece. Part 1 is about Hora, the island's port and capital.

Hora's sunset views were charming, and they were everywhere around the waterfront and northern shore of Grotta. You hardly had to really look for it. (Really can’t stand the digitalized sun of a square shape in my video.)

Lovely small hotels in Naxos' Hora were abundant, their whitewash walls decorated with blue color details. Most came with a small balcony, and many were equipped with a small kitchen.
The splashing waves were dramatic around the area of the temple of Apollo, from the causeway to the islet of Palatia, as well as the Grotta.

Kastro, the Venetian Catholic old quarter, was the most intriguing part of the city, and naturally the highlight of the video. It's also the most enigmatic and challenging labyrinth in Greece I'd been to. With its endlessly meandering alleyways and passageways, I could hardly fathom out this labyrinth, even after losing and finding my way there for a few hours.

Further up into the Kastro, Tourists were rare. It's interesting to wander around, hearing the chatters of its dwellers coming out of their houses, looking at interesting details of the houses, walking through archways low and not that low… In the uppermost parts, near the museum and the cathedral, the derelict houses emanate a mysterious air that enchanted.

I wanted to accompany my Kastro adventure with music that felt mysterious and joyful but not gloomy. But most music that sounded mysterious I had were pretty gloomy. I happened to find Primal Scream’s "Higher Than the Sun" right for my clip. This is the kind of songs that always remind me how brilliant a song could be, with my ears constantly dulled by the overload of fine but not really impressive music of today.

A little away from the town center, it could be very quiet. Hardly anyone in sight, walking on the road could feel like being in a ghost town. Mind you, it could be a challenge to find a toilet. An area crowded with hotels reminded me of the surrealist paintings of Giorgio de Chirico, as if time was at a standstill. Rather playfully, I've added the overused music of Ry Cooder to exaggerate the barren feeling.

Watch my video: